Obsessing Over: Finishing my take home exam for senior seminar and thinking about how much I got done this weekend!! (despite long periods of being totally not productive)
Working On: Finishing my take home exam for senior seminar. It is soooo boring and not at all interesting. Don’t care. Need to care. Ooops.
Thinking About: how awesome it is that I don’t work until Thursday this week but that then I work a double on Friday…
Anticipating: Finishing another grad school application and actually already anticipating friggin spring break so I can sleep, work out tons, and start throwing things away in this apartment that we haven’t used since we moved in. We have to downsize when we move in Sept and we need to clear out as much of our (excessive) shit as possible. We really need a house.
Listening To: The T go by my apartment building.
Drinking: Water as usual.
Wishing: I had done my take home exam a long time ago so that I could be doing something less obnoxious and boring now.
“True gender equality is actually perceived as inequality. A group that is made up of 50% women is perceived as being mostly women. A situation that is perfectly equal between men and women is perceived as being biased in favor of women.
And if you don’t believe me, you’ve never been a married woman who kept her family name. I have had students hold that up as proof of my “sexism.”
My own brother told me that he could never marry a woman who kept her name because “everyone would know who ruled that relationship.” Perfect equality – my husband keeps his name and I keep mine – is held as a statement of superiority on my part.”— Lucy, When Worlds Collide: Fandom and Male Privilege. (via subconciousevolution)
“I’m fat positive because I’m a feminist, and I refuse to acknowledge in the magical thinking that if you’re small enough, quiet enough, compliant enough and saccharine enough, you will somehow be enough.”—You’re Welcome - Why I’m Fat Positive (via adrowningwoman)
Hey I just saw your post bout Community and it's okay if you dont get it it's how your humor is or what interested in. You don't have to try and make yourself like something because other people like. You like it because you actually like it. For instance most people like the twilight series. I fucking hate it.
oh thanks! yeah i know, i didn’t really mean it literally. i guess i meant that i wanted to give it a shot because a lot of people i have things in common with/respect/etc. enjoy it and so i wanted to give it a shot. i’m really not someone who’s ever gone with what anyone tells me to do. it was a bit tongue in cheek but i see how it wouldn’t necessarily read that way if you don’t know me.
but i feel you - twilight sucks, i’m right with you there!
so - i just wanted to take a few minutes and remember to write about things that are nice. i feel like i spend a little bit too much time complaining, but there are loads of awesome things going on over here. i put them under a cut because maybe you don’t care.
On a somewhat serious note today because of a conversation the other day:
I am sure every girl can recall, at least once as a child, coming home and telling their parents, uncle, aunt or grandparent about a boy who had pulled her hair, hit her, teased her, pushed her or committed some other playground crime. I will bet money that most of those, if not all, will tell you that they were told “Oh, that just means he likes you”. I never really thought much about it before having a daughter of my own. I find it appalling that this line of bullshit is still being fed to young children. Look, if you want to tell your child that being verbally and/or physically abused is an acceptable sign of affection, i urge you to rethink your parenting strategy. If you try and feed MY daughter that crap, you better bring protective gear because I am going to shower you with the brand of “affection” you are endorsing.
When the fuck was it decided that we should start teaching our daughters to accept being belittled, disrespected and abused as endearing treatment? And we have the audacity to wonder why women stay in abusive relationships? How did society become so oblivious to the fact that we were conditioning our daughters to endure abusive treatment, much less view it as romantic overtures? Is this where the phrase “hitting on girls” comes from? Well, here is a tip: Save the “it’s so cute when he gets hateful/physical with her because it means he loves her” asshattery for your own kids, not mine. While you’re at it, keep them away from my kids until you decide to teach them respect and boundaries.
My daughter is `10 years old and has come home on more than one occasion recounting an incident at school in which she was teased or harassed by a male classmate. There has been several times when someone that she was retelling the story to responded with the old, “that just means he likes you” line. Wrong. I want my daughter to know that being disrespected is NEVER acceptable. I want my daughter to know that if someone likes her and respects her, much less LOVES her, they don’t hurt her and they don’t put her down. I want my daughter to know that the boy called her ugly or pushed her or pulled her hair didn’t do it because he admires her, it is because he is a little asshole and assholes are an occurrence of society that will have to be dealt with for the rest of her life. I want my daughter to know how to deal with assholes she will encounter throughout her life. For now, I want my daughter to know that if someone is verbally harassing her, she should tell the teacher and if the teacher does nothing, she should tell me. If someone physically touches her, tell the teacher then, if it continues, to yell, “STOP TOUCHING/PUNCHING/PUSHING ME” in the middle of class or the hallway, then tell me. Last year, one little boy stole her silly bandz from her. He just grabbed her and yanked a handful of them off of her wrist. When I went to the school to address the incident, the teacher smiled and explained it away to her, in front of me, “he probably has a crush on you”. Okay, the boy walked up to my daughter, grabbed and held her by the arm and forcibly removed her bracelets from her as she struggled and you want to convince her that she should be flattered? Fuck off. I am going to punch you in the face but I hope you realize it is just my way of thanking you for the great advice you gave my daughter. If these same advice givers’ sons came home crying because another male classmate was pushing them, pulling their hair, hitting them or calling them names, I would bet dollars to donuts they would tell him to defend themselves and kick the kid’s ass, if necessary. They sure as shit wouldn’t say, “he probably just wants a play date”.
I will teach my daughter to accept nothing less than respect. Anyone who hurts her physically or emotionally doesn’t deserve her respect, friendship or love. I will teach my boys the same thing as well as the fact that hitting on girls doesn’t involve hitting girls. I can’t teach my daughter to respect herself if I am teaching her that no one else has to respect her. I can’t raise sons that respect women, if I teach them that bullying is a valid expression of affection.
The next time that someone offers up that little “secret” to my daughter, I am going to slap the person across the face and yell, “I LOVE YOU”.
“The aftermath of that trauma could be seen in their brain scans, whether or not the young adults had developed diagnosable disorders. Regardless of their mental health status, formerly maltreated youth showed reductions in volume of about 6% on average in two parts of the hippocampus, and 4% reductions in regions called the subiculum and presubiculum, compared with people who had not been abused.
That’s where this study begins to tie together loose ends seen in prior research. Previous data have suggested that the high levels of stress hormones associated with child maltreatment can damage the hippocampus, which may in turn affect people’s ability to cope with stress later in life. In other words, early stress makes the brain less resilient to the effects of later stress. “We suspect that [the reductions we saw are] a consequence of maltreatment and a risk factor for developing PTSD following exposure to further traumas,” the authors write.”—
yeah actually we talked about this in my children’s welfare services class a couple weeks ago. there’s actually even evidence to suggest that emotional/verbal abuse can cause similar problems. It’s really interesting and I think this is really important research that will hopefully have impact on policy and funding decisions. there is a lot of research out there indicating that early abuse may have causal link to later mental illness - which is huge especially since we’ve assumed for a long time that a lot of this stuff was caused by genetics.